Agronesia

I just got a stomach problem some days ago, and that made me think about the types of stomach problems that exist, and ones that could possibly exist! The principle that I will use here is the inherent symmetry in the universe. On the large scale, we have day and night, male and female (OK, OK, female and male!). Going deep down we have G with its pair C, and A which loves T (sometimes U comes to wreck their relationship though). We even have the electron and positron pair! Whew…

OK, first we have nausea which causes vomiting:

See, the food goes out from the stomach through your mouth. Do we have its counterpart? Of course, that eating!

(If you can see where where this conversation is heading and doesn’t feel comfortable, please do not continue)

It goes completely the opposite way, from outside to inside through the mouth. Ah, the beauty of symmetry… I bet this eating/vomiting pair is what inspired Emmy Noether to work on the field of symmetry.

Well, eating is probably not a stomach problem. But it is indeed a problem with the human species. Just look at our distant distant brother, the plants, which can perfectly live by essentially the water and the sun. Or it could be a problem if you eat too much or too less.

Anyway, here’s my stomach problem recently:

Pooping by itself is normal, but when you have a stomachache you will poop abnormally.

Now here’s the million dollar question. Assuming that the universe is indeed perfectly symmetric, what’s the opposite of pooping? Based on the beautiful symmetry of the universe, I postulate the ability of human to get an intake of food not trough its mouth, but through its anus:

I call it “crapping up”, with the infinitive form “to crap up”. In Japanese it would be 糞上げする (kusoage suru). Or should it be reverse crapping? Whatever… Just post on the comments if you have better suggestions for this important scientific term.

(And you needn’t crap up crap of course. It could be ice cream and even french fries)

I believe we can do it, but humans have an established notoriety of not believing in radical ideas that shattered all their previous beliefs. Therefore it might take up to 2042 to prove this phenomenon experimentally, which holds the answer to the life, universe, and almost everything.

Of course, if you’re willing to test it out yourself and report the answer here, it could be faster. But as I said, humans are stubborn. I would very much like to do it but sadly have more pressing matters to do IRL.

For bonus, here the diagram containing all the above:

Tags: funny, hypothesis, Joke, physics, physiology, science, symmetry

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 5th, 2008 at 11:49 am by Agro Rachmatullah and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.